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How to lose your job at the office xmas party in 5 steps

How to lose your job at the office xmas party in 5 steps

Don’t eat before you start drinking ‘ Eating is cheating’

For real Leopards, don’t you dare eat anything before you go and fill your bellies with mulled wine and/or cocktails… Get disgustingly drunk have the worst night of your life because you said all types of cray to your colleagues (and your boss) and then be sent home ‘early’ in an Uber. Go for it….  That will work for sure!

Mix your drinks

Forget everyone’s advice to stick to one drink all night or to drink water between each prosecco. What do they know? You’re the party girl and you can drink a whole team of rugby players under the table and still balance on your head...gin, mulled wine, beer, tequila, who cares? You have some paracetamol back home and you’ll be fine if you get the xl kebab on the way home….. And that job will be gone in no time :P

Hook up with a coworker

OK, so you thought you weren’t interested in anyone at work, but now you’ve had a couple of Prosecco’s there are some definite potential flings just waiting for you to say hello… Jason from finance scrubs up well, doesn’t he? Don’t worry he’s got a LT GF (I mean if they were going to be forever they’d be married by now). What’s the worst that can happen?....it gets unbelievably awkward because you drunkenly misjudged a situation and tried to snog the boss's husband and you lose your job!

Tell your boss where she is going wrong

You love your boss, she is a baddass boss babe, has started up this company and taking it to the highest skies of success. You’re a badass boss babe too and you have a few things you’d like to tell her …. Yes now, after those last 5 Jaegerbombs is the perfect time to talk business and reveal her flaws in front of large crowd…. Guess what….this is the perfect idea for how to lose your job.

Be super late for work the next day (or turn up drunk from last night)

Everyone knows where you were last night so they all get it. In fact, I bet they will all be mega late too. There’s no need to take a ‘softener’ of bacon sarnies either because they are all in the same boat. You carried on drinking too when you got home with the girls and you stink like like you just bathed in a tub of gin and tonic.

Perfecto - you totally just lost your job.

Please note, we are not responsible for the success of these blog tips on your career.